​News of the Weed

You Put the Lime in the Coconut- It seems that smugglers of almost two tons of marijuana forgot the simple lyrics to this catchy song. On January 30, U.S. Customs and Border Patrol seized 3,947lbs of marijuana disguised as Limes crossing the US/Mexican border.  The truck hauling “produce” crossed the Pharr-Reynosa bridge with more than 34,000 balls of marijuana covered in a fake outer peel. U.S. Border agents estimate the value at $789,000 and report this as the largest fake fruit incident since last year seizing 2,400lbs of marijuana stuffed fake carrots.

 Catapult to Glory – In Naco , AZ local sheriff and Border patrol agents were able to spring into action and seized a three yard high catapult from drug smugglers launching bales of marijuana over the border fence. After surveilling and recording a group of men slinging 4.4lb bales of marijuana from the back of a flatbed truck, agents confiscated the truck, catapult, and 45lbs of marijuana. The culprits were able to launch bales of marijuana over 40ft in the air proving that even medieval technology would be able to overcome the most tallest wall the current administration plans to build.

Jeff Sessions – As of 2017 our new Attorney General is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III; and if the name doesn’t tell you about the down-home Southern boy that he is then his attitude should spotlight any doubt about the beliefs that he brings to the job. As a Senator from Alabama he has battled against both legal and illegal immigration and actively targeted minorities to prevent voting and other basic privileges; an act that led to opposition from Coretta Scott King and a denial for a federal judge position in the 1980’s. Jefferson Beauregard’s colleagues have even report “he thought the Ku Klux Klan was O.K. until he learned they smoked marijuana.”  That’s right, he thinks that the KKK is just too laid back. Join us at Chronic Happenings in welcoming Mr. Sessions to the office of Attorney General by signing this petition to have him ousted immediately : http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/stop-jeff-sessions

Alligator Protection Agency - For those familiar with wrestling the new APA has nothing to do with JBL and Ron Simmons. In Olympia, WA, Thurston County Sherriff’s Deputies responded to a call about two men in a dispute over a drug deal gone bad. The 41 year old suspect claims to have shot the 30 year old victim in self defense. Upon further inspection of the property police found an exotic dance club set up with multiple stripper poles and an illegal marijuana grow guarded by two five foot long alligators. Police have not released information if the alligators were involved in the strip show as well. However comment has been made that since the passing of I-502 marijuana DUI’s will increase exponentially but alligator attacks are projected to be reduced to significantly.

The Great Tennessee Pot Cave - In the hills of Tennessee, on Dixon Springs road in Eastern Trousdale County about 40 miles northeast of Nashville,  sits an A-frame house with a value well over $1,000,000. But it’s not the 3 bedroom 2 bath that makes this property such a value, it’s the hidden passage way that leads to a cave 40 feet below the house. It was here that Fred Stunk converted the cave into a grow house that watered and housed 800-1000 plants ranging from six inches to six feet in height. Stunk  was busted in March 2006 after a confrontation with the power company over stolen electricity lead to a police investigation and bust. Stunk plead guilty to growing marijuana, money laundering, and theft and is currently serving 18 years in jail. Stunk as well has been ordered to pay the $60,001 power bill.

Prosecutors Drop 220 cases in WA - While I-502 did not officially come into effect until December 6, 2012,  220 people received early gifts from the WA district attorney’s office.  The prosecutor’s office released statements stating in anticipation of legal marijuana all 220 cases for minor marijuana possession were dropped.  King County Prosecutor Dan Sutterberg stated “The people...spoke loudly and clearly that we should not treat small amounts of marijuana as an offense.” The Pierce County prosecutor agreed stating “ I don’t think you could sell a simple marijuana case to a jury after this initiative passed”.

Medbox stock sores 3000% - Since the initiatives to legalize marijuana passed there has been much speculation, but no so much as in the stock market. In a single week the stock for Medbox (US: MDBX), the makers of automated marijuana dispensers, sored from roughly $4 a share on Monday to $215 a share Thursday. The stocks rocket launch took the whole market from a market cap of $45 million to a staggering $2.3 billion. It is still very risky investing in a drug that is still illegal at a federal level, advisors said.

Put the Lime in the Coconut -

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